Okay, don't worry. I didn't actually throw up on him. But I almost did...I think. Well, anyway, this wave of nausea came over me as my itty bitty Jaxon was laboring his way through "Old MacDonald Had a Song" and I just about lost it. Luckily, the wave passed pretty quickly and I was fine, but it was a reminder that I really need to tell these parents! "Just so you know, I'm pregnant but it's not mine. Tell your kid."
I'm hoping everyone is okay with it. I know it's not an easy conversation to have with this age of child (7-9) because they understand it but they just don't GET it. Sawyer was easy as he doesn't know any different. His biggest concern when we told him was how the baby was going to get home to Minnesota. (Well, honestly he wasn't thrilled that he wasn't getting a brother out of the deal, but that passed pretty quick.)
Basically, they are going to have to explain it to their child or they just won't be able to take lessons with me any more. Knowing my families, I really don't think that will happen, but you never know how people are going to react. Surrogacy is becoming much more commonplace these days, but I don't think it's rolled into mainstream suburban San Antonio just quite yet. In my eyes, it would be a great teachable moment on faith, trust, servanthood, people coming together to accomplish a goal, and the marvels of modern medicine. So let's just hope that's how it plays out.
In other news, I ate a HUGE pancake this morning at my favorite breakfast spot without an ounce of guilt. One of the perks of pregnancy.
7 days until the ultrasound! Can't wait to see who's in there!!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
The Gag Test
Tonight Ryan and I resurrected an old game we used to play while I in my first trimester with E and S. It's called The Gag Test. Here's how you play: 1) I close my eyes and think of a food that doesn't activate my gag reflex. 2) R goes to get that food. Game over.
This game is pretty much reserved for weekends, as weeknights nobody has the time to deal with the fickle tastes of "The Yuck." (Oh, I have renamed "Morning Sickness" "The Yuck" because it's not morning and I'm not sick. I'm just "yuck".) And tonight we kind of bent the rules because I had to choose between feeding and bathing my children and driving to get my food. I chose the drive.
And tonight's winner of The Gag Test is...... Savannah Chopped Salad from McCallister's Deli!
I thought it would be fun to keep a running list of the "good" foods and "yuck" foods so see how they change in the coming weeks. So here we go:
Food That Make Me Say "Yum"
Food That Make Me Throw Up in My Mouth a Little Bit
This game is pretty much reserved for weekends, as weeknights nobody has the time to deal with the fickle tastes of "The Yuck." (Oh, I have renamed "Morning Sickness" "The Yuck" because it's not morning and I'm not sick. I'm just "yuck".) And tonight we kind of bent the rules because I had to choose between feeding and bathing my children and driving to get my food. I chose the drive.
And tonight's winner of The Gag Test is...... Savannah Chopped Salad from McCallister's Deli!
I thought it would be fun to keep a running list of the "good" foods and "yuck" foods so see how they change in the coming weeks. So here we go:
Food That Make Me Say "Yum"
- McCallister's Savannah Chopped Salad
- Subway (this tends to be one place that always sounds good when I'm pregnant. I think the last time I ate there I was pregnant.)
- cold cuts of any kind
- the kids' macaroni and cheese (I NEVER eat this and probably never actually will do it)
- cold pasta salad
- broccoli/kale salad from Byerly's (been craving it)
- cold pea soup
- turkey hot dogs (also something I NEVER consume, but thinking about picking up a pack of the natural ones...)
- apples and most fruit in general
- popsicles
- cold tomato sauce
Food That Make Me Throw Up in My Mouth a Little Bit
- hot grains of any kind (quinoa, lentils, oatmeal, etc.)
- hot soup
- milk (still getting my calcium, mom!)
- chocolate and candy
- hummus
- carrots
- hot vegetables
- coffee
- soda or anything carbonated
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
The REAL Two Week Wait
I am NOT by nature a patient person. Nope, not at all. I enjoy immediate gratification just as much, and probably more, than your average person. So when you tell me I have seriously high levels of hcg in my blood for only 11 days after the transfer, I immediately want to know how many little rascals are kicking around in there. AND I want to know that whoever is in there is healthy and growing as they should.
Our answers will come in TWO WEEKS!
We've already been waiting 6 days from the last beta test, and now I have 14 more?!?! I know if I'm jumping out of my skin, my IP's are probably even more eagerly crossing off days on the calendar, hoping for March 5 to get here as quickly as possible.
On the up side, that's the most I have to complain about right now. I'm feeling good, although I think I'm starting to feel the inklings of some nausea coming on. That's all a good sign that my levels are continuing to increase, though, so I'm kind of happy about not feeling fantastic. Also feeling a little more tired than usual, and after staring at me in the showing for about 5 minutes straight with a big grin on his face, R informed me that my body is "plumping" in certain husband-pleasing areas.
So right now things are rather uneventful, which is a good thing. Although they aren't doing much right now, I really wish these little guys inside me could know how many people are cheering for them, praying for them, and waiting so, so patiently (or not so patiently) for them.
Our answers will come in TWO WEEKS!
We've already been waiting 6 days from the last beta test, and now I have 14 more?!?! I know if I'm jumping out of my skin, my IP's are probably even more eagerly crossing off days on the calendar, hoping for March 5 to get here as quickly as possible.
On the up side, that's the most I have to complain about right now. I'm feeling good, although I think I'm starting to feel the inklings of some nausea coming on. That's all a good sign that my levels are continuing to increase, though, so I'm kind of happy about not feeling fantastic. Also feeling a little more tired than usual, and after staring at me in the showing for about 5 minutes straight with a big grin on his face, R informed me that my body is "plumping" in certain husband-pleasing areas.
So right now things are rather uneventful, which is a good thing. Although they aren't doing much right now, I really wish these little guys inside me could know how many people are cheering for them, praying for them, and waiting so, so patiently (or not so patiently) for them.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Fast Forward a Few Months....
Wow, it's sure been a long time since I posted, and SO much has happened.
The months of October-December were rather uneventful, but in January the ball started rolling again. Meds arrived, pills were popped, shots were injected, patches were stuck, and then I hopped on a plane to the cold, cold Midwest.
Three feet of snow welcomed me as I stepped out of the airport, and the sub-zero temps were NOT the highlight of my visit. Seriously, it's crazy that people are expected to go outdoors in that weather. If San Antonio ever saw anything remotely similar, our city would literally shut down for a good three months of the year. Craziness...
Anyhow, on the morning of Sunday, February 2, we (well, the doctor) transferred two adorable blastocysts into my plumped and primed uterus. The embryos were "beauties" according to the RE, and he gave us a 79% chance of a singleton, and 60% of twinkies. (Somewhere in the "less than 1%" range there exists a chance of triplets or quads, but let's not even go there.) Last time, our odds were 50%.
Now all that science stuff is well and good, but after was when the REAL magic happened:
1) Pineapple. I ate 1/5 of a pineapple every day for 5 days, including the core. Some say the enzyme bromelain in the core causes the uterus to get "puffy" (a good thing).
2) Bill Cosby. Watched an old stand-up routine about drunk people immediately following the transfer. Hospitals in Israel send a Medical Clown to women's rooms for 15 minutes post-transfer. Studies have shown a 20% higher rate of pregnancy when the women were entertained immediately following IVF.
3) Miralax. I won't elaborate.
I laid around for a few days up north, discovered the wonder of Byerly's, fell in love with a new soap and organic milk, decided Juan Pablo is kind of a sleeze-ball, and hung out with awesome IF and IM before returning to a 70 degree February day in San Antonio.
After a LONG "2 Week Wait" (actually 9dp5dt), I went in for my blood test on February 11 so they could measure my hcg levels. Last time mine were a big fat ZERO. This time.....562.
Repeated the test two days later and levels were at 1585. YES, FOLKS, WE ARE PREGNANT!!**
**With a very special thank you to Bill Cosby, the makers of Miralax, and God (the maker of pineapple)
The months of October-December were rather uneventful, but in January the ball started rolling again. Meds arrived, pills were popped, shots were injected, patches were stuck, and then I hopped on a plane to the cold, cold Midwest.
Three feet of snow welcomed me as I stepped out of the airport, and the sub-zero temps were NOT the highlight of my visit. Seriously, it's crazy that people are expected to go outdoors in that weather. If San Antonio ever saw anything remotely similar, our city would literally shut down for a good three months of the year. Craziness...
Anyhow, on the morning of Sunday, February 2, we (well, the doctor) transferred two adorable blastocysts into my plumped and primed uterus. The embryos were "beauties" according to the RE, and he gave us a 79% chance of a singleton, and 60% of twinkies. (Somewhere in the "less than 1%" range there exists a chance of triplets or quads, but let's not even go there.) Last time, our odds were 50%.
Now all that science stuff is well and good, but after was when the REAL magic happened:
1) Pineapple. I ate 1/5 of a pineapple every day for 5 days, including the core. Some say the enzyme bromelain in the core causes the uterus to get "puffy" (a good thing).
2) Bill Cosby. Watched an old stand-up routine about drunk people immediately following the transfer. Hospitals in Israel send a Medical Clown to women's rooms for 15 minutes post-transfer. Studies have shown a 20% higher rate of pregnancy when the women were entertained immediately following IVF.
3) Miralax. I won't elaborate.
I laid around for a few days up north, discovered the wonder of Byerly's, fell in love with a new soap and organic milk, decided Juan Pablo is kind of a sleeze-ball, and hung out with awesome IF and IM before returning to a 70 degree February day in San Antonio.
After a LONG "2 Week Wait" (actually 9dp5dt), I went in for my blood test on February 11 so they could measure my hcg levels. Last time mine were a big fat ZERO. This time.....562.
Repeated the test two days later and levels were at 1585. YES, FOLKS, WE ARE PREGNANT!!**
**With a very special thank you to Bill Cosby, the makers of Miralax, and God (the maker of pineapple)
Friday, September 27, 2013
9dp5dt - Beta is a BFN
BFN in the TTC (trying to conceive) world stands for "Big Fat Negative". I'm getting good with these acronyms. Feels like a foreign language for awhile...
Anyhow, I went in early to the clinic today for a blood test. After having to wait WAY to long for the results, we got the dreaded phone call from the doc that the pregnancy test was negative.
We are all disappointed and a little air was certainly let out of our balloons today. Still, I think we are all looking ahead to the next step and the next cycle. There is optimism that with a few changes, we'll have a much better chance next go-round.
Not much else to write about. I'll probably take a break for a while until we get our next cycle going. Hopefully soon!
Anyhow, I went in early to the clinic today for a blood test. After having to wait WAY to long for the results, we got the dreaded phone call from the doc that the pregnancy test was negative.
We are all disappointed and a little air was certainly let out of our balloons today. Still, I think we are all looking ahead to the next step and the next cycle. There is optimism that with a few changes, we'll have a much better chance next go-round.
Not much else to write about. I'll probably take a break for a while until we get our next cycle going. Hopefully soon!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
7dp5dt - One Hot Hormonal Mess
Okay, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement...
Still, it doesn't help that my 3 year-old son (okay, almost 4) is currently on a plane on his way to Disneyland with his grandparents, taking his first trip away from us ever. I know he is GREAT hands and is going to have a BLAST at the "Happiest Place on Earth", but right now it's reading more like "Best Place on Earth to get Lost or Kidnapped or Fall out of a Teacup". Gigi, I know you will read this and don't worry, this is just the hormones talking. I know everyone will be just fine. :)
I seriously have been going through the day flip-flopping about every 10 minutes between "I know I'm pregnant!" and "I wonder how soon we can do the next cycle?" I'm sure this is normal for everyone in the 2WW, but man it makes the day seem long!! I'm sure it's way harder for my IPs. I want soooo much for them for there to be a baby or two in there cooking right now. They've been waiting long enough, darnit!
I guess all I can do is leave it in the Lord's hands and lay it all at His feet. If this is His timing, EXCELLENT, but if it's not, then PLEASE Lord give their perfect child in Your Time...though we will all take sooner over later if that works with Your schedule...
Still, it doesn't help that my 3 year-old son (okay, almost 4) is currently on a plane on his way to Disneyland with his grandparents, taking his first trip away from us ever. I know he is GREAT hands and is going to have a BLAST at the "Happiest Place on Earth", but right now it's reading more like "Best Place on Earth to get Lost or Kidnapped or Fall out of a Teacup". Gigi, I know you will read this and don't worry, this is just the hormones talking. I know everyone will be just fine. :)
I seriously have been going through the day flip-flopping about every 10 minutes between "I know I'm pregnant!" and "I wonder how soon we can do the next cycle?" I'm sure this is normal for everyone in the 2WW, but man it makes the day seem long!! I'm sure it's way harder for my IPs. I want soooo much for them for there to be a baby or two in there cooking right now. They've been waiting long enough, darnit!
I guess all I can do is leave it in the Lord's hands and lay it all at His feet. If this is His timing, EXCELLENT, but if it's not, then PLEASE Lord give their perfect child in Your Time...though we will all take sooner over later if that works with Your schedule...
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
6dp5dt - I want to POAS!!
For all you new to the IVF world, that means"six days post five-day transfer". The embryos were five days old when they transferred them, and we are now six days past that.
POAS means "pee on a stick" aka HPT "home pregnancy test"
The waiting is so hard. I'm trying not to read into "symptoms" as I really feel it is too early for that. I also don't want to take a home test as hcg levels are so unpredictable right now, that I could easily get a negative when we really ARE pregnant, or I could get a positive even if it's a chemical. So I'm just going to be a good girl and wait for my beta Friday morning. We will know Friday afternoon if the beta results were good.
Longest week ever!!
POAS means "pee on a stick" aka HPT "home pregnancy test"
The waiting is so hard. I'm trying not to read into "symptoms" as I really feel it is too early for that. I also don't want to take a home test as hcg levels are so unpredictable right now, that I could easily get a negative when we really ARE pregnant, or I could get a positive even if it's a chemical. So I'm just going to be a good girl and wait for my beta Friday morning. We will know Friday afternoon if the beta results were good.
Longest week ever!!
Bed Rest
Where do I start with bed rest? First of all, it was WAY better than I thought. I was honestly a little nervous to be staying at the home of my IP's, especially when they had to be waiting on me hand and foot! As much as I feel that we have gotten to know them over the past year, I still had no idea what to expect staying at their home! So here is my top ten list of things I appreciated about my stay:
10) Aveda Shampure in the shower. It made my hair smell good even the second day that I couldn't shower. Love that stuff.
9) IF paging IM during the day. I am still laughing thinking about it. (No one else will get this, that's okay....)
8) Full fat Greek yogurt. I never realized how good that stuff is. That splurge was totally worth it!
7) No judgement on my crazy cracker and Twizzler consumption. That what you get for asking "what else can we get you?"
6) Amazing salmon....my compliments to the chef and his fancy pan.
5) Not losing power in the stormy weather.
4) Belly laughs with IM about BET and other such nonsense.
3) No judgement about my smelly self after 48 hours without bathing.
2) Not getting any of my show watched because IM was hanging out with me the whole time. So great!
1) Knowing even more that God matched us with the perfect couple to go through this with. I feel so close to you both now, and I am so blessed!!
Oh, and I think I came up with a name for my IM.....
FIVE-POKE POLLY! (this story will go untold...)
:)
10) Aveda Shampure in the shower. It made my hair smell good even the second day that I couldn't shower. Love that stuff.
9) IF paging IM during the day. I am still laughing thinking about it. (No one else will get this, that's okay....)
8) Full fat Greek yogurt. I never realized how good that stuff is. That splurge was totally worth it!
7) No judgement on my crazy cracker and Twizzler consumption. That what you get for asking "what else can we get you?"
6) Amazing salmon....my compliments to the chef and his fancy pan.
5) Not losing power in the stormy weather.
4) Belly laughs with IM about BET and other such nonsense.
3) No judgement about my smelly self after 48 hours without bathing.
2) Not getting any of my show watched because IM was hanging out with me the whole time. So great!
1) Knowing even more that God matched us with the perfect couple to go through this with. I feel so close to you both now, and I am so blessed!!
Oh, and I think I came up with a name for my IM.....
FIVE-POKE POLLY! (this story will go untold...)
:)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Embryo Pic - 5dt
Here they are! The one on the bottom is in the early blastocyst stage. This would probably be the "winner" if there is only one.
IM brought up how strange it would be to show their child a picture of himself or herself at 5 days old. How cool!
IM brought up how strange it would be to show their child a picture of himself or herself at 5 days old. How cool!
The Transfer
So when I finally have a lot to write about, I don't! Granted, I have been flat on my back for about a week straight..... Sorry to anyone who has been keeping up via this blog. So here's what's been going on...
As you know our transfer was scheduled for last Wednesday, September 18th. I flew out the evening of the 17th so I would be rested and relaxed for the transfer. From the very beginning, it was an amazing trip. It started out on the plane ride there where there were only about 20 of us on this whole jet, and about 10 of the other people were a group of men returning from a hog-hunting trip in Utopia. Let's just say from their conversation and smell, alcohol and firearms were definitely combined on this fun-filled weekend. They were actually a rather entertaining bunch, and I was assured repeatedly that should we be stranded in a plane crash (Lost?) I would be well protected because of their crazy supply of weapons and ammo stashed in baggage. Man, was I relieved.
After an entertaining flight I was met at the airport by my IPs. I guess I haven't given them a name on here yet, and calling them IPs sounds really cold at this point. I'll think of something fun to call them...Anyway, we arrived at their beautiful home and I got settled in my suite, downed a bowl of cereal, and called it a night!
The morning of the transfer we arrived at the RE office about 10:00. We changed into our scrubs (I got a little mixed up, blaming it on the Valium) and the doctor came in to discuss the progress of the embryos with us. It is simply amazing how they are able to create and monitor these embryos, and looking at the pictures really had me in awe of modern medicine. They basically retrieved the eggs, fertilized them with a single sperm (which they are able to pick up and put on a needle) and allowed the embyos to grow for 5 days to see which would have the best chances of "making it". Some didn't make it, and we were left with four "contenders". The doctor had picked out the best two and suggested we transfer both. One was in the early blastocyst stage and one wasn't quite there. It was an easy decision to go with two. We were told the chances of pregnancy would be 50%, twins 29%, and triplets 2%. I wish that first number was higher, but glad the third isn't!!! The other two were left to grow to see if they would progress to the blast stage so they could be frozen in case we needed to do another transfer. (Neither survived, so no "snow babies" this time around.)
The transfer itself was super easy. I was instructed to take a Valium one hour before the transfer to make sure I was super relaxed, so maybe that's why it seemed like a piece of cake. They put a catheter in my uterus and then used that as a tunnel to guide the embryos through. They then shot them out really gently and there they stuck!! We were able to see them shoot out on the ultrasound which was very cool and so surreal. To think the embryos were the size of a pen dot on a piece of paper, and they could place them that exactly and gently. So amazing!!
I rested for about 10 minutes and then we drove back to their house where I spent all of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on bed rest......TO BE CONTINUED....
As you know our transfer was scheduled for last Wednesday, September 18th. I flew out the evening of the 17th so I would be rested and relaxed for the transfer. From the very beginning, it was an amazing trip. It started out on the plane ride there where there were only about 20 of us on this whole jet, and about 10 of the other people were a group of men returning from a hog-hunting trip in Utopia. Let's just say from their conversation and smell, alcohol and firearms were definitely combined on this fun-filled weekend. They were actually a rather entertaining bunch, and I was assured repeatedly that should we be stranded in a plane crash (Lost?) I would be well protected because of their crazy supply of weapons and ammo stashed in baggage. Man, was I relieved.
After an entertaining flight I was met at the airport by my IPs. I guess I haven't given them a name on here yet, and calling them IPs sounds really cold at this point. I'll think of something fun to call them...Anyway, we arrived at their beautiful home and I got settled in my suite, downed a bowl of cereal, and called it a night!
The morning of the transfer we arrived at the RE office about 10:00. We changed into our scrubs (I got a little mixed up, blaming it on the Valium) and the doctor came in to discuss the progress of the embryos with us. It is simply amazing how they are able to create and monitor these embryos, and looking at the pictures really had me in awe of modern medicine. They basically retrieved the eggs, fertilized them with a single sperm (which they are able to pick up and put on a needle) and allowed the embyos to grow for 5 days to see which would have the best chances of "making it". Some didn't make it, and we were left with four "contenders". The doctor had picked out the best two and suggested we transfer both. One was in the early blastocyst stage and one wasn't quite there. It was an easy decision to go with two. We were told the chances of pregnancy would be 50%, twins 29%, and triplets 2%. I wish that first number was higher, but glad the third isn't!!! The other two were left to grow to see if they would progress to the blast stage so they could be frozen in case we needed to do another transfer. (Neither survived, so no "snow babies" this time around.)
The transfer itself was super easy. I was instructed to take a Valium one hour before the transfer to make sure I was super relaxed, so maybe that's why it seemed like a piece of cake. They put a catheter in my uterus and then used that as a tunnel to guide the embryos through. They then shot them out really gently and there they stuck!! We were able to see them shoot out on the ultrasound which was very cool and so surreal. To think the embryos were the size of a pen dot on a piece of paper, and they could place them that exactly and gently. So amazing!!
I rested for about 10 minutes and then we drove back to their house where I spent all of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on bed rest......TO BE CONTINUED....